How to Stay Connected When Your Friends Live Far Away

July 2, 2025

Do you have friends who live far away? Personally, I have lots of experience nurturing long-distance friendships. Throughout my life, I’ve moved around a lot, never living anywhere for more than 9 years. I moved to France from England when I was 5, went to university in Scotland, then moved to the North East of England when I got married. Now, we live in Belfast.

Many of my relationships naturally faded after a few months or years living elsewhere, but there are a handful of people I’ve kept in contact with. I value those friendships greatly and I enjoy having people to stay in touch with.

Why Are Long-Distance Friendships So Challenging?

When there aren’t natural opportunities and touchpoints to catch up regularly, friendships can easily fade. This is normal, and if you want to settle somewhere new, it’s one of the main reasons you’ve got to get stuck in and make new friends who share your day-to-day life.

However, some friendships will stand the test of time and survive regardless of the distance between you. Those that do are really special.

How to Stay Connected When Your Friends Live Far Away

1. Don’t Worry About Being the Instigator

My first and best tip is to not worry about always being the one to get in touch. I understand you might sometimes get the feeling the other person doesn’t really want to be friends anymore, but this isn’t high school and we’re not teenagers. Give your friend grace, don’t get offended if they don’t initiate, and keep at it.

2. Keep Talking About Shared Interests

WhatsApp is great for this. I scan through my chats every month or two and send a message to a few people from Edinburgh and Newcastle to find out how they’re doing. If I see something in the news, on Instagram, or on a blog that makes me think of someone, I’ll tag them or send them the link. It’s not much, but it means that when I go back over and visit, it isn’t weird to get in touch and say, ‘let’s meet up!

Another option is to set up group chats and keep them going when you move away. My husband is in several that have remained active over the years. His flatmates from uni, who are now located in four different places across the UK, stay in touch regularly via WhatsApp. When one got married recently, the other three played a part in the ceremony. He has another chat with a group of guys from Newcastle. Their conversations are often sparked by something someone saw or did that they think the others will be interested in. Finally, he has set up a group with three other men locally. If we ever move away, I’ve no doubt that group chat will also continue.

3. Make an Effort to Meet Up When You Can

I have a friend who can correctly claim she is my oldest friend. Not in the sense that she’s old, but because she’s the person I’ve known the longest! I met her 20 years ago during my second year at uni when she was a fresher. We lived close to each other in Edinburgh for six years, but she eventually moved back to her hometown in Northern Ireland.

Thankfully, she came back to Edinburgh frequently, and we would meet up whenever she was over. I ended up marrying a Northern Irish man, so when I started going home with him, we would meet up halfway between her home and where Iain’s parents live. We found a restaurant in the middle of an industrial estate and made it our regular catch-up place. It’s random, but now, when I think of her, I think of the restaurant in the middle of nowhere!

When Iain and I moved to Northern Ireland ourselves, my friend and I decided to meet up regularly. I’m so glad we made the effort to see each other during the years we were far apart. We’ve come full circle now, living close to each other again, still friends but in a completely different season of life. We’ve gone from university friends in Edinburgh to married middle-aged women in Northern Ireland!

So, if you can, find somewhere that’s uniquely yours, ideally halfway between the two of you, and create a semi-regular habit of meeting up in the same place. Not having to choose a location removes one obstacle to seeing each other. It’s just a question of making it a priority to get together and catch up.

4. Send Birthday and Christmas Cards

Birthday and Christmas cards are a great way to stay connected. They’re small touchpoints, twice a year, that help keep friendships alive, even if they’re just flickering quietly in the background. It also makes texting when you think of someone randomly much less weird or awkward!

I have a large collection of greeting cards suitable for a wide range of occasions, including some that are perfect to send ‘just because’. You can browse my designs here >>> Greeting Cards