How to Teach a Child to Pray: Building a Culture of Prayer at Home
One of the most valuable things we can teach our children is that they can talk to God anytime, anywhere, and about anything. The good news is, to teach your children to pray, you don't need a perfect prayer routine, and you don’t need to be a prayer warrior yourself.
Why is Prayer Important?
As Christians, we follow Jesus, and Jesus prayed. He prayed regularly to His Father in heaven. We see Him praying when He was alone, before important moments, when He was grieving, when He was giving thanks, and when He was facing suffering.
Jesus didn't just pray occasionally when He needed something. Prayer was part of His relationship with His Father. Jesus also modelled prayer for his disciples, and for us, as it is recorded in Scripture. In Matthew 6, when the disciples asked Jesus how they should pray, He gave them what we now know as the Lord's Prayer, which is written down for us to learn from as well.
All of this tells us something important: prayer matters. And if prayer was important to Jesus, it should matter to us too.
Why Teach Your Children to Pray?
We want our children to know God. We want them to practice coming before Him, and for it to be a habit and a first port of call. We want our children to know they can come to Him with their worries, their excitement, their questions, their sadness, their thankfulness, and their enormous list of things they would like Him to do.
I know from Scripture and from my own experience that God listens, and He answers. I really want my children to know and experience this for themselves.
How to Teach a Child to Pray
1. Let Them Hear You Pray
One of the best ways we have found to teach our children to pray is to let them see us doing it. We have set times where we pray every day – before each meal, at the end of our evening devotion at dinner time, and before we go to bed.
For mealtime grace, we take turns. Sometimes my husband and I pray, and sometimes we ask one of the children to give thanks. We often switch up our words in giving thanks for the food. We also bring to God what is pressing on us. This might be things we’ve spoken about in the minutes before dinner. The children will often say the same words they say before each meal, but sometimes they’ll add things on. They are becoming more confident, and more personal with their prayers.
Before bed, we tuck each child in, and the child will pray first, with the parent praying second.
Then there are little popcorn prayers, quick requests, or moments of thanksgiving. These often sound like:
- ‘Thank you, Lord, for this beautiful day.’
- ‘Please help me because I don't know what to do about this.’
- ‘Thank you that Grandma is feeling better.’
-
‘Lord, please help us find the car keys!’
Prayer can be woven into ordinary family life. And I think there is something incredibly powerful about children seeing that prayer isn't reserved for church or bedtime. We do it because we have a relationship with God.
2. Create Opportunities to Talk to God
Children learn prayer by praying. It’s just like when they’re learning to speak – they have to practice. They make sounds, and as parents these sounds brings us so much joy. Since God is our Father, it also brings him joy to hear us, his children, speak to him, even when our words are imperfect.
We can talk about prayer. We can buy books about prayer. We can teach children the Lord's Prayer. We can make lists of people to pray for. All of those things can be wonderful. But ultimately, our children need opportunities to actually talk to God. So as parents, it’s our job to present these opportunities.
3. Remember Prayer Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect
If you have children, you will know that family life rarely goes according to plan. When you sit down to dinner and prepare to say grace, someone will spill their drink. Someone will interrupt. Someone will suddenly remember they desperately need to tell you something that happened at school three weeks ago. Someone will decide it’s the perfect time to pop to the toilet. Someone will complain or even scream. Someone will refuse to pray.
But prayer isn't made less meaningful because your toddler is climbing on the sofa. It's not less holy because someone giggles. And it's not a failure if you miss a day. Or even a week.
Your children don't need to hear perfect prayers. They need to hear real prayers. I love that our children hear many people pray. There are always one or two people at the front of church who pray. Some of their teachers have prayed with them as a class, too. Going to scripture union, weekly Bible clubs, summer camps – they have so many opportunities to hear different people pray and see them having a normal, daily relationship with God.
4. Make Prayer Part of Everyday Family Life
Pray before meals. Pray at bedtime. Pray in the car on the way to school. Pray when someone is worried about an exam. Pray when a friend is ill. Pray when you're excited about something. Pray when someone has been unkind. Pray when you've had an argument and need to say sorry. Pray when you've received good news. Pray when you're watching the news and see something heartbreaking. The more children see prayer woven into ordinary life, the more natural it becomes.
This year, we have had the opportunity to pray specifically for one child, surrounding them as a family before they head off on a big milestone. This happened twice over a couple of weeks and was really impactful for me, and I hope it was for them too.
One of our children has had a few nightmares recently. We go into them, check they are okay, and pray with them about their bad dreams. We reiterate in the morning that this is how we can get comfort and know we are safe from the dream’s ‘scary’.
5. Give Children Permission to Pray in their Own Words
When children are little, their prayers can be wonderfully honest. And sometimes hilariously specific! Let them be.
Prayer doesn't have to be complicated. In fact, it’s probably better if it isn’t! Jesus warned the Pharisees about their long prayers for show and celebrated the beggar who beat his breast and called out to God in humility and desperation.
Recently, our family devotion encouraged us to pray for each other – one family member for another. One of our children prayed, ‘Thank you that daddy has a great wife!’
A child doesn't need to sound like an adult when they pray, just like we don’t require them to have sophisticated language when they speak to us. They don't need theological language or a perfect understanding of how to structure a prayer. They can simply talk to God.
There isn't a single right way to pray. Different children will naturally respond to different approaches. Some children love praying out loud. Others find it embarrassing. Some will happily pray a long list of things, while others will manage approximately six words before announcing they're finished. Some get nervous, so they sing a prayer song they learned in nursery school. Some may love having a set routine, while others will connect more easily with spontaneous prayer.
The important thing isn't finding the perfect prayer method. It's helping your child discover that prayer is a safe and natural way to talk to God. If you’re feeling stuck, this is a really simple framework you can use with younger children:
- Thank you — What are you thankful for?
- Sorry — Is there anything you want to say sorry for?
- Please — Is there anything you want to ask God for?
6. Build a Culture of Prayer, Not Just a Prayer Routine
I think there’s an important distinction here. A routine can be useful, but I'm less interested in creating children who know that 7.30pm is ‘prayer time’ and more interested in teaching them they can pray whenever they need to.
I want my children to grow up knowing that when something wonderful happens, their first reaction is to respond in praise. When something frightening happens, they first go to God for comfort. When they don't understand something, they can talk to God about it and ask the tough questions. When they have done something wrong, they can confess it to God, and He is faithful to forgive and bring them back into right relationship with Him. When someone they love is hurting, they can pray for them.
That's a culture of prayer.
For more on this, read Why the Culture You Create in your Home is More Important than What it Looks Like.
What if my Child Doesn't Want to Pray?
Don't force it. You can invite them. You can remind them that we love to hear them speak to Jesus and that He too loves to hear them pray. You can model it. You can give them opportunities. But prayer is ultimately about a relationship with God, not a performance.
We want our children to associate prayer with coming to God, not with getting into trouble for not praying correctly.
What if Your Own Prayer Life isn't Great?
Christian parenting can sometimes make us feel like we need to have everything sorted. We don't. Some seasons will feel easy, and some will feel hard. Some days, the last thing I want to do is pray. Our children don't need us to be a perfect example. They need to see that we fail and get back up, too. This is a normal part of being human.
For more tips, read Cultivating a Habit of Prayer – Everything I’ve Learned So Far.
Looking for a Simple Way to Make Prayer Part of your Day?
If you're looking for practical Christian stationery to help you make space for prayer, take a look at my A5 Floral Prayer Journal or Printable Prayer List.
Sometimes, having somewhere to write down the people and situations you're praying for can help turn good intentions into a regular habit. Personally, I prefer to write my prayers down, though I still pray aloud with my family – the prayer list helps with this.
You can also browse my collection of Christian notebooks, prayer journals and faith-filled stationery, all designed by me in Belfast >>> Christian Stationery
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